The family adventures begin - or I'm still surprised no one calls Child Protective Services on us

     I must admit we started out pretty tamely with our first kid.  We gave G a full five months to mature into a world class globetrotter before we bundled her on an airplane and flew with her 2500 miles to San Diego.  My husband had a conference there and I was never one to pass up a free hotel room in a place I'd never been, despite having to drag along a fairly cranky infant. We made it through the zoo and aquarium and some quaint little walks and open air restaurants happy in the knowledge that, with any luck, we could someday return and actually enjoy the sights (we did).
     After that cross-country excursion we played it fairly safe for the next 2 years - I was in residency and way too tired to indulge in anything strenuous or requiring much brain action. We made due with trips to my mother's house in Florida and my sister-in-law's house in Shelter Island, very low key and mostly relaxing. Nothing like taking advantage of relatives' generosity to enjoy a cheap vacation! However I felt myself becoming restless, even through my sleep-deprived haze.  I HAD to get away, get out of the country, go somewhere NEW and DIFFERENT! Then, suddenly, it hit me. My OTHER sister-in-law worked for the US State Department. They were stationed in LISBON! What 2 year old wouldn't want to meander down the ancient cobblestone lanes of Portugal's largest city?  Suffice it to say taking a newly potty-trained toddler to Europe can be a tad challenging (to say the least); however, all in all, we spent a delightfully calm holiday (mainly because my sister-in-law herself was 8 months pregnant and not really feeling up to our usual brand of kamikaze sight seeing). Unsurprisingly G herself remembers little from that vacation - the rest of us unfortunately are scarred for life having had to watch the movie "Annie" approximately 40000000 times as it was the only kid-friendly videotape our hosts owned.
     Within a year I gave birth to S. Due to a variety of somewhat insane factors I promptly booked a trip down to my mother's place in Florida for a well deserved break. And our married but child-free friends decided to join us. Yeah, my kid was only 6 weeks old, perhaps a bit young for her first travel experience, but this was just going to be a relaxing stay in boring Boyton Beach. Right?  HA!!!
And thus begins the first of many Merry Tripster Family Adventures...

     Who knew the SPACE SHUTTLE would be scheduled to blast off during our lazy vacation?  And what part of, "Let's drive the 2 1/2 hours up to Cape Canaveral at 4:30AM with our 3 year old and our 6 week old to watch the launch even though we don't have tickets!" did you think I objected to?  I can at least claim my brain was somewhat addled from the post-partum hormones but my husband has no such excuse.  And that's how I ended up at 6 o'clock in the morning with a 6 week old in my arms and a 3 year old clinging to my waist standing in, essentially, a swamp with a zillion other crazy space enthusiasts watching the Discovery blast off.

I believe this is what ignited S's fascination with Space Camp

BLAST OFF!!!

     You would think that was enough insanity for any one day but nooooooo.  In a cunning bit of bait and switch for which I will NEVER forgive them, my "friends" (who I later found out were Micky Mouse Maniacs) suggested that, since we were up so far north anyhow, why didn't we just wander on over to DISNEY WORLD as a treat for the kids? NOT!!! What idiots would think a 6 week old infant and a 3 year old who'd been up since 4 AM and spent the last hour standing in a swamp would enjoy a hot sweaty romp with giant cartoon animal impersonators? And WHY DID WE AGREE TO GOOOO??? Needless to say it was a disaster although that trip generated some of my most memorable moments of Disney-ania... The fond mother-child bonding experience I shared with G ("I don't care if you think it's scary - close your eyes! We're going on the 'Haunted Mansion' 'cause it's mommy's FAVORITE ride!"), the interlude where I introduced proper breast-feeding technique to all the kids lining up for "Splash Mountain" ("Mommy! I can see that lady's BOOBIE!!!" yes, I popped out a boob at Disney World - anything to shut up my screaming baby), and my personal favorite - the Meltdown at "Pirates of Caribbean." All the rum in the world wasn't gonna cheer up that hearty wench!  Yo Ho Ho my ass!!! 

     Well it all turned out well in the end - as in nobody died. And it set a precedent for all future vacations: no matter what or where our travels lead us, we must always do at least one incredibly stupid thing so we have something to laugh about later! I think that's just about enough retrospective agita for now...until next time!